


All Grown Up

by Wangpuppy



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Boys Kissing, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mark is sad and gay for taeyong, Mutual Pining, thats it thats the fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-30 08:10:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14492616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wangpuppy/pseuds/Wangpuppy
Summary: Where Taeyong realizes Mark isn't just a little kid anymore





	All Grown Up

Mark's eyes strain to see the small analogue clock hung upon the wall only a short distance in front of him, squinting at the red arm that ticks away endlessly as he reads 2:35. He had just about given up on perfecting his dance when the last member left the practice room for the night, nearly collapsing to the floor as soon as the heavy door slammed shut after Johnny's groggy, "see you tomorrow, man," which according to the time, was almost two hours ago. For some reason, instead of heading back to the dorm rooms for the night, Mark remained on the cold floor where the group members spend most of their time, half asleep against the large mirrors and refusing rest. He's still unfortunately unable to get up.

It isn't like he necessarily chooses to do this. It's just that his mind practically runs a mile a minute, keeping him from finding the peace he so desperately needs for relief, and all of his worries and fear take over because for once another member or schedule isn't preoccupying him. He can't help but to fruitlessly wait it out here. 

Deep down, Mark knows that their group is fine, more than fine if he was being completely honest, and their next come back will be a complete success just as all of their other one's had been; but the way his flow seemed to be off earlier or another team mate just couldn't get the precise movements down, now has him blinded by the fear of failure. 

He's so exhausted, mentally and physically, that Mark feels close to throwing up with how soon his body might give out, but he remains upright and internally battling his every thought. It's the only thing he knows how to do at times like this.

What if they don't learn the moves in time? A completely irrational thought as they all already know the entire choreography by heart, because they work so hard and do what they're supposed to every second of every day. Still, the minute hand strikes a quarter to three, and Mark takes a deep breath in.

What if they don't look good enough? Now that is entirely illogical, his members are damn near perfection, whether it be for stages or just practicing, bad hair or not. His team has all the charm, charisma, and looks an idol would need to blow people away, even if it were to just walk down the street. He worries his bottom lip in between his teeth as the clock continues to change, and wipes at the sweat collected on his eyebrow.

What if he isn't pulling his own weight and is only dragging the rest of NCT down?

Suddenly, a faint click sounds from the doorway, but it's enough to send Mark struggling to his feet despite the way his vision blurs and his head feels too heavy for his sore shoulders. He busies himself with the dance to Black on Black, waiting with baited breath for the unwanted visitor to just take the hint and leave him alone. Of course, Mark isn't allowed that luxury, it was foolish of him to even hope for that happening. After all, being in a group with seventeen other boys is hard to get some privacy, even in the earliest hours of the morning because they are all nosy and seem to think alike.

"When Johnny said you'd stayed behind, I knew you would still be here." The voice he would least rather encounter at this particular moment in time speaks from behind him, and in the clear reflection Taeyong gazes at him heatedly, like he already knows why Mark is still here and is trying to scold him telepathically. He knows it's wrong of him to, but Mark chooses not to stare back into the warm eyes of his leader, simply because he's afraid of falling under their hypnotic spell of comfort and safety. 

For a few awkward moments, Mark pretends to lose himself in the dance, but underneath his sealed tight eyelids he can feel the holes being drilled into his head, almost shivers at his subconscious telling him that Lee Taeyong is currently staring him down. Mark loses control of his balance when the dizziness becomes a bit too much, and he's slightly leaning to the side like a tower with a weak foundation, and then Taeyong is right behind the brunette with his thin fingers cupping onto Mark's waist to keep his aching form upright. "You need to sleep." He chastises with a knowing smirk that doesn't quite match his pained eyes, and Mark hates hearing the worry in Taeyong's quiet mumble. He should be used to the concern, especially from him, but he unfortunately is not yet, surprisingly. 

"I'm fine." Mark protests weakly, going to pull away from his leader only to stumble almost immediately. Taeyong's hold on him tightens, only a bit as if he were afraid of hurting the younger even further, and rests his chin on Mark's shaking shoulder. "No you're not." 

Leave it to Taeyong to search him out when he's finally alone, confront him on the one issue he's been able to keep hidden, and fret over him like the protective mom-like figure he is. Mark is both ashamed and grateful, knowing he would have eventually passed out of it weren't for Taeyong's intervening. The only thing he wishes is that weren't him, someone Mark has looked up to for years, his powerful leader, the strong man who can take on all of the extra weight of dealing with seventeen other people at once plus the rest of the world, all without even batting an eye. He just wishes it weren't Taeyong to have to see Mark at his worst.

He can't help the way his head falls backwards onto Taeyong when the said male wraps his pale arms around Mark's lower abdomen in a hug that would by no means be considered normal for anyone of the platonic sorts, and their position is suddenly so much more intimate than Mark can handle, and like he should of the situation he is lightly grabbing onto those skinny arms constricting like a snake and pulling his younger back into a very warm embrace. Not to push them away, but to feel them, make sure that what is transpiring is real and not a hallucination from the lack of sleep. Sure, Taeyong as hugged and cuddled him before, practically smothers him at times to remind him he's NCT 127's baby, yet it's never been like this, where his actions 3rd up to par with Mark's unneeded feelings. 

"You're so hard working, Mark. It's okay to stop, you're already doing so good." The praise is just what Mark has been needing to hear apparently, as he instantly turns into a boneless, greedy mush against his leader's firm chest and would otherwise just collapse if it weren't for Taeyong holding him up. He wants to deny the statement so bad, because he feels unworthy, though he knows there is no room for argument, and instead basks in the attention. After all, it's the one time where he can have his leader all to himself without the worry of having him stolen away by another member, doesn't have to share a single ounce of the elder with anyone.

The sudden over-consuming feeling scares him, and leaves him wondering why he hasn't exactly ran away from Taeyong yet, carrying his band of issues with him -- because really, Taeyong is in no way obligated to be the one to take care of him, he already has his own problems, as well as the other members who are more important to deal with -- but Mark blames it on the fact that he's close to passing out, and the sleep deprivation can destroy a man's mind to body filter. He feels guiltier and guiltier with each passing second, with each tick of that obnoxious clock he's grown to hate, as he only soaks up the glorious affection of his leader that would be better put to use on the others. 

Taeyong's veiny hands begin to move around the expanse of sweaty chest hidden under Mark's white shirt comfortingly, earning a pleased groan in reply. It's a weird, inappropriate sound and Mark hopes that it doesn't completely register with Taeyong.

"Come on, let's get you to bed." While Mark feels like there is still room left for improvement, he isn't stubborn enough to go up against his leader's order, and allows the red head to guide him over towards the exit. Mark admits to himself that he's a bit glad he is too tired to feel the excruciating embarrassment of all this.

~

Over the next few days, Mark forces himself to sleep regularly, for the sake of keeping his leader appeased and getting rid of the awful migraine he's had since the weekend prior. One good thing coming out of practically locking himself up inside of his bedroom is that Taeyong, much to Mark's delight, seemingly approves of his new improvement, as he doesn't bring that night, or the conflict in general up again. Their comeback is a success just as he had known all along, Mark is back to eating properly again without feeling queasy right afterwards, his members all praise him for his hard work and accomplishments, which always results in him feeling warm and fuzzy on the inside, and he's gifted proud half smiles whenever Mark finds himself staring at their leader. He's practically on cloud nine the entire time.

Maybe being an idol may seem impossible at times, but it's the other moments he really needs to remember that make it all worth it. Like when he meets the fans who all surprisingly adore them and make up a huge part of how they got to where they are now, or when he can finally relax in the dorm room with the large group of obnoxious people he's grown to believe are truly his brothers, and even the practicing that wears him down can bring a smile to his face. For instance, when he's messing around on hoverboards with the rest of NCT 127 members, or completing childish dares with the dreamies. It is in which those times are the ones that remind him to take a break and have fun, that it's okay to not be completely perfect. 

Unfortunately, the stroke of wonder that had gotten him out of the damning funk seems to disappear only about a week later when he finds himself stuck in an identical situation, going the extra mile tonight as he feels best doing, listening for the tell tale sign that every single member has finally left, and preparing for a long night of depression and anxiety. He already thinks back to what a mess that was when he couldn't even get the turn right, and Mark sighs to himself as he turns to watch the clock. The red hand passes the other ones which are currently placed on 11:16 as Taeyong peers at him through the mirrors from his position in the far right corner, almost glaring at him with the power of his concern. "I'm not leaving until you do, Mark." 

Memories of the other night pop into mind, being pressed together with the Lee Taeyong in the night with no one to interrupt, but he shakes them off just as quick, unintentionally letting out an airy chuckle at Taeyong's promise, completely understanding that the older is hard headed enough to sit there for hours on end just glaring, making his younger too guilty to refuse sleeping. However, as if he didn't think Mark believed him, Taeyong makes a faint, 'hmph,' noise as a child would, before tapping a few things into his phone that rests on the bench closest to him, and music is once again blasting from the bluetooth speakers built into the walls. He faintly recognizes the song as Taemin's Move, but is too busy eyeing the other like a hawk to pay it any attention. He'd gotten an adequate amount of rest the night before, just for the soul purpose of keeping the other off his back, but clearly, the effort wasn't enough.

Sure, maybe he should have seen this coming, as Taeyong had made it his first-hand task to make sure Mark always left before him in case of something like this repeating all over again, so in all honesty it is Mark"s fault this is a reoccurring predicament.

Their eyes hold each other's stare through their reflections as Taeyong's lean body begins to sensually move the hips he barely has along with the beat, Mark attempting to gulp down at the lump that had mysteriously formed within his burning throat as he's pulled into a trance. "Come on, aren't you gonna practice?" Maybe he's imagining things, but Mark is certain he can make out a faint smirk pulling at those familiar cherry colored lips that could only belong to Lee Taeyong. 

The night is still young, he believes, and wonders what could be in store for him that he's already being gifted with having Taeyong all to himself yet again

Instead of replying, Mark reluctantly joins in like Taeyong had wanted, blowing the bit of hair in his face away to see properly, then zeros back in on the other to see him already analyzing Mark's every action. When Taeyong's lower back sways and the rest of him subtly drops, which he doesn't believe is apart of the real dance, he tries to follow, but realises he actually should have been paying attention instead of staring. 

"See, that's why you think your flow is off. You're too stiff, which is why I tell you to sleep more. It's kind hard to dance right when you're too tired to even move. Here," Taeyong backs up slowly until he's directly in front of the younger, grabbing at Mark's antsy hands and placing them against his own sides to where Mark can really feel how thin his hips are. Small and effeminate, and it is almost as if the further he travels the thinner they get. The back of his mind tells him to test that theory, although he ignores that thought wholeheartedly. They are as bony as the rest of him is, but only adds to the available grip Mark can have on his body.

He allows himself to sneak one glance downwards however, trailing back up his leader's skinny legs that seem to go on forever, until his gaze has finally retired to holding Taeyong's. Mark's mind goes into over drive when his leader begins dancing again, jaw dropping ever so slightly in surprise, but of course his brain remains too sleep deprived to function properly as he only holds onto his friend as he tries to figure out how this could be happening; to him no less. Taeyong is an idol to Mark, not some celebrity he is to everyone else, but someone who makes him both envious and proud, a person who without failure always seems to be perfect in the younger's eyes. As band members, he's the older brother to watch over him without being asked, the friend that helps him out thoughtlessly. The selfless, caring, charismatic, strong leader Mark aspires to be. This, on the other hand, is uncharted territory. Sure, they help each other out, as it's the most important thing to do between group members, but not like how they're doing. Not where he can feel every movement the other makes, grasping him as if he were a handle bar on this rollercoaster of one-sided feelings, staring straight into his eyes through the mirror in front of them with such a burning intensity he's surprised one of them hasn't already melted by now.

It's not natural to find it slightly alluring how his leader moves fluidly yet never breaks their locked gazes as if he were a statue, not even for a second -- except for when he spins around, Mark unconsciously digging his blunt fingertips into the bit of smooth skin peaking out from underneath Taeyong's shirt in surprise, confused by the innocent smile delivered to him as he repeats the process onto Mark.

The same dark corner of his mind he'd rather suppress starts to wonder what the other's might say if they were to walk in on them, and questions himself how their positions may look from an outside perspective. From what Mark can tell, it's anything but normal. The thought worries him as much as the fear of failing does, because why are their actions different from what their other band mates do? Why are they doing this now, with each other in the first place? What even is 'this'? While his body wants to go down one path, his mind always has something else to say about it.

Once again, Taeyong seems to know exactly what the younger is thinking, and jerks him back into reality. "Come on Mark, don't worry about it. Dance, man." 

Their movements are synchronized with one another's, Mark slowly trusting in himself to ease out of his unwilling shell and into a more provocative stance just as the other had done, seemingly getting looser and looser as time goes on. He no longer hears the clock ticking, only their mingling breaths and the music, and for a single moment, his mind is no longer in complete chaos, only focusing on how they sway together in tune with the song, and how Taeyong's hips are so perfect for grabbing, that they really should incorporate more moves like this into their dance choreographies -- before abruptly the song ends and so does their movements, and Mark is able to think again and nervously watches his elder grin happily. 

"See? Wasn't that fun? And you did great too, like you always do." Mark shivers uncontrollably as Taeyong drags his dainty fingers along his shorter body, fingertips unintentionally rubbing his skin that is clearly sensitive to the elder's every touch, before stopping to caress Mark's cheek appreciatively and nodding in agreement with what he's just said. Mark shrugs indifferently, although on the inside he's freaking out, because his leader continues to pull their bodies closer, as if they weren't already uncomfortably pressed together, and he's unfortunately conscious enough to know that what ever is taking place between them is not normal in the slightest, and yet he does nothing to distance themselves and put a stop to whatever 'this' is.

"Oh Markie, you're growing up so fast." Taeyong sighs, rosy lips forming a very cute pout that strangely draws in the younger's attention, joining their foreheads together in a calming matter, and suddenly Mark wants to know what it'd feel like if they weren't just brushing noses together and were instead slotting their lips together. His stomach tightens, and the feeling of drowsiness from over-exertion is replaced by a rush of anxiety that has his palms that are clasped onto Taeyong growing clammy, and his limbs feel heavier and weaker than they ever had before. Their faces are impossibly close that he can almost taste the lip balm his leader uses from just lightly breathing the strawberry scent in, finds himself wishing he could be the first to know how it'd actually be like to lick the substance off those thin lips, and against his own better judgement he lightly presses their slick skin together so that Taeyong's eyelashes flutter against Mark's flushed cheekbones. So close, and yet so far, like a match of tug and war only with the gravity being the rope centered between their faces. Does Taeyong want to kiss him too? If so, is the need nearly as bad as what Mark feels? The desire to take what seems as a need at this point is so strong, that Mark almost throws all caution to the wind.

However, before they can do anything they will definitely regret later, the practice room door slams open, and in comes an irritated looking Johnny. "If you both don't get your asses to sleep right now, I will chain you to your beds until you start sleeping properly."

~

Mark's only fear the next day is of change, as he's never been one for the notion. All throughout breakfast after he's been forced to sit down with the rest of the 127 members for a well needed brunch just between them, he distantly wonders what is going to happen to his and Taeyong's relationship. Did last night's events have as much of an effect on the elder as it did for Mark? Or is it just the teenager freaking out over nothing once again?

For Mark, change has been a terrifying experience, good or bad. When he first auditioned and was told that things were gonna be totally different for him from then on, he'd almost backed out on it all, knowing that he would never have another chance to follow his dreams like this one. Even if the difference was going to be hard work towards a goal he's had in mind since his childhood, money he's always dreamed of having, and maybe a new family to care for and receive love from in return, he had been scared. He didn't think he could do it, go through the huge change of leaving his parents and home behind, couldn't fathom living in a different country and speaking a different language, couldn't see himself making it even if he tried. Some how, by some miracle, Mark had taken the chance, which resulted in him ending up right here, accustomed to the crazy idol life, preparing himself to face yet another shift. Why couldn't he have just told Taeyong to leave? The older might have listened if he was stern enough. Yes, his members are over bearing and get into other people's business more than any person should, but they are still human enough to respect someone's wishes when need be. It may take a few tries, but they'll relent if they think it's serious enough. 

He just hopes he'll be smart enough in the future to make the right decision when the time comes. 

As he watches his leader's every move, who is currently coddling an overwhelmed Sicheng, he can't help but think back to the night before. They had been so close, that just remembering it has his stomach clenching and his cheeks heating up. He brings a hesitant finger tip to where their lips could have met, and looks back and forth from his chilling food to Lee Taeyong. Is he still wearing that same chapstick?

Mark huffs and mentally curses himself. What is wrong with him? 

He isn't gay, and that's a fact. Has never thought about another guy in such a way, hasn't ever pictured himself kissing anybody else for that matter, except maybe that time when he met Red Velvet and went through his girl group phase, but who hasn't? And why should Taeyong, his leader who has witnessed Mark's ugliest side, out of all people, be the first person he's ever felt this way about. Sure, he's had girlfriends growing up, but nothing ever felt as good as being so close and intimate with the older. How he is feeling towards the other isn't exactly anything new to him, so to speak, but it is still quite alarming and questionable, especially with how fast these feelings are increasing.

However, when Taeyong sends a sweet smile his way as he serves him some coffee, just the way he likes it because it's just in Taeyong's nature to pay attention to those miniscule details, Mark starts to wonder if there is a positive side to change. 

From the time he was young, change had only registered in his mind as a negative thing. It meant growing out of his favorite shoes, losing best friends, switching schools, spraining his ankle before a game, and blindly giving up everything he had for just one wish. Though, looking at where the last risk got him; in a home with kids who annoy the hell out of him but he wouldn't trade in for the world, good food -- which isn't a daily thing, sometimes they are all to lazy to buy anything for supper and are left to resort to eating instant ramen -- and he finds he's actually living out his dream. Yes, there are many hard times that come with being an idol, such as stress, not feeling good enough, being without a mom to cook for him and hug him when he's sick, anxiety and sleepless nights, but Mark has been through it all and is still here. He's made it, all thanks to that little change he allowed into his life. 

Maybe, just maybe, change isn't all too bad.

~

"Before you yell at me, I'm not tired, I accidentally fell asleep earlier and now I'm wide awake." He tells the strawberry blonde walking into their practice room at around midnight, looking up from his phone to see a yawning Taeyong. His hair sticks out in random directions, and his posture is not formal and put together as it usually is, instead a hunched over lazy type. Mark admits that he is still absolutely beautiful and holds a certain appeal to him in this state. "Looks like you could use some sleep though, mister leader sir." 

The elder simply rolls his blood shot eyes at the smug smile Mark gives him, before rubbing at them as he glances up at the clock above their heads. 12:27, it shows, and for once Mark isn't constantly watching over the damned contraption.  

"Oh be quiet. Youngho was snoring louder than Chenle's laugh so I just came up here for some quiet. Stop being so narcissistic, not everything is about you." He shoots back with no bite to his words, only causing the grin on Mark's face to widen, especially when he sits down right besides the other after softly punching him in the shoulder. Their arms brush against one another's, and Mark pretends he doesn't feel anything from the contact. "Yeah, sure it isn't."

Unlike the stories and fanfictions he might sometimes read, there is no electrifying spark as their bare skin collides, but he does get choked up and his heart skips a few beats here and there. And for a while, everything is quiet, except for the ticking of the clock and their own breathing, which is a surprising difference to what kind of silence that Mark is used to. For once, he isn't on the verge of crying, mind filled with self depreciating thoughts and malicious intent against himself, and he has a bit of strength to his bones. He's smiling, in the middle of the night, butterflies making their presence known in the pit of his stomach, and he probably looks like a fool. 

"Don't quote me on this, but I'm glad your sass is back. I was beginning to think Donghyuck took it all from you." At this, Mark believes he should look over at the older, only to be met with eyes the color of warm honey on a summer day, which would otherwise be hazardous but when it comes to Taeyong's eyes it's absolutely magnificent, already staring back at him. Mark is still certain he isn't gay, but he has come to terms -- finally, after the two years of this going on -- with the fact that maybe he'd enjoy kissing his leader a bit too much. 

Taeyong's collarbone peaks out from underneath his loose tee, milky skin pulled taught over his bones, like that's all he's made up of. What should be uncomfortable is surprisingly pleasant, just watching the others' every move, from the way Taeyong's chest rises and falls, to how his jaw sets and unclenches every now and then. For a man with such sharp features, he really is soft. "Awe, don't worry, I still got it," he adds as an after thought, "dork." 

Taeyong shifts his leg to find a more comfortable position, knocking his hands into Marks in the meantime, and instead of flinching away from the touch as he usually would, Mark brushes their knuckles together for a second time, although it's with reason and Taeyong of course picks up on that. "That's good, I guess." Taeyong nibbles on his bottom lip as he chuckles, and it's almost as if they're flirting by now.

Mark is still uncertain of change. Sadly, the mental speech he gave himself earlier hadn't magically cured his fear of change, but it did make him more aware. He now knows that it's okay to be a bit apprehensive when it comes to diving into something new, as it's a part of being human. He just can't let it hold him back from going out and trying new things. He can't make the same mistake he almost did all those years ago when he came crying to his mother about how he was too afraid to leave everything he knew behind. 

"You're not leaving everything behind, honey, you're just taking it somewhere different." 

He didn't know what she meant at the time, even asked her to explain it then, but now he thinks he's figured it out. He may not have his family here with him, but he'll always have one. He may not be that little Canadian boy anymore, but he'll always have that be apart of him. And, as far as he's concerned, that's pretty okay.

"By the way, Taeyong, thank you." He mutters into the dimly lit room, watching his friend's eyes widen, before there's a frown tugging at his thin lips. His pinky finger gently prods at the elder's, asking for permission to move on further into whatever they've started.

"For what? I didn't do anything." Taeyong follows in Mark's lead as he looks down to watch their fingers interlace, and Mark can't help but slide in closer to the male. He really just wants that warm feeling to intensify and never leave, wants it in full force because it's one of the only things anymore that remind him he's human too and needs a little bit of comfort sometimes. 

When Mark tried out for joining a group, he expected tribulations and hate, being lost and confused, some fan girls and everything else he hears about celebrity life. It effected him impeccably when his faith to becoming an idol was put to the test again and again, but he'd known it would happen, already had an idea of how hard it was going to be to achieve what, in his mind, was considered good enough. He never expected any of this though. A bunch of people he'd care for deeply like his own blood, and feelings that would reach a whole other level besides close friends. It goes to show how much life can turn around in just a short amount of time.

"Yeah, you did. You took care of me when I was to scared to let you." Taeyong looks taken aback by the sudden confession, and Mark licks his own lips as he subtly leans in. It is almost as if there were a magnet pulling him in, and he loses all control over the movements in his neck. "Please, all I did get you to sleep." Taeyong hasn't shown any signs of being disgusted or weirded out by Mark's actions, so he takes that as a good sign. Of course, it isn't like the teenager is that experienced, seeing as he's only dealt with a few girls before, and not anyone such as Lee Taeyong.

His cheeks flush once he smells the strawberry chapstick, and he can barely keep his eyes open anymore. "You did so much more than that." It meant so much more that, is left unspoken, but he's almost certain he got the message across.

The ticking of the clock seems to get louder as he feels his own lips brush against another pair slick with lip balm, and all he can see, feel, and breathe is the older. He kicks his foot to the side in order to nudge Taeyong's, who responds to the action by rubbing Mark's ankle. A little teasing game of footsies as some amateur foreplay, but it seems to do the trick. "Taeyong," he breathlessly mutters as his eyelids flutter to a close; terrified of the change this will bring, terrified of whether or not he's good enough, terrified of what Taeyong thinks of this exactly, and most of all, terrified of the want that consumes him. 

A cool hand is firmly pressed to the base of his jawline, gently finishing the job by doing what Mark was too afraid to do, and when their mouths slot together finally, he feels as if he were diving off of a waterfall. Both serene and thrilling, both hard and soft, both crazy and calm; it feels like everything all at once. His mind both races and stops, and he doesn't know what to do. His veins spike and he suddenly feels so limp and comfortable, like he could just stay there like that with Taeyong forever. 

His lips tingle and are covered in the substance he so badly wanted to get a taste of the other day, and can't help but chuckle at the turn of events as they pull away. "Oh my god, that was so inappropriate, I'm so-" Taeyong looks more vulnerable than Mark has ever seen him before as he begins frantically pulling away, and for a moment that horrific feeling returns, but Mark confidently latches onto the red head. 

"Don't leave," it's time to stop being afraid, time to make the change himself, he can't try to hide from it anymore. He can't get anywhere if he doesn't at least try. "I'm not a little kid, Taeyong, I know what I'm doing." There, he said it. Basically conveyed how he's secretly been harboring feelings for his older in just a few simple words. It feels like too much and not enough at the same time.

Taeyong's eyes grow distant, not as warm as they usually are, like he isn't entirely there, as he bites on his lower lip again. "You're not, are you?" Taeyong asks, mostly to himself, and Mark feels the bony fingers held within his palm give a little twitch. 

Mark has been prepared for almost everything throughout his life, including the inevitable change he so dearly despised. He's always been that one guy who was ready for almost any hurdle thrown his way. However, he isn't prepared in the slightest for the lap-full of Taeyong in response to his barely muttered, 'no,' lips being pried open by very soft and thin ones. 

"Tae!" He gasps, hands finding their way to his leader's shoulder blades and grabbing onto the fabric there, sucking on his leader's lips. They aren't the thickest ones in the world, but they're firm and velvety, and fit with Mark's own perfectly, like a puzzle piece, the one Mark has been hopelessly searching for all this time. It's almost like being sent to another world where its just the two of them as they begin to delve deeper into each other. 

He loses track of all the ticks that go by, quite possibly sitting on the wooden floor for hours with an enthusiastic Taeyong on top of him, nothing but passing kisses back and forth, until they tire themselves out. "Thank you, Taeyong." He whispers as he begins feeling drowsy from the hot, tense atmosphere, and the euphoric feeling of Taeyong gently pressing kisses onto him over and over again, like he just can't get enough either, before snuggling into the older male for the night. 

"No, thank you, dork."

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't even my otp and yet it's the longest work I've made so far  
> Whatever, I'm in love with Markyong and I hope you guys are too


End file.
